Chapter 002: Celestial Doll

I do not want to associate with those of bad conduct

I hope that the two elderly individuals can live for another ten to twenty years. If that happens, I will likely strive forward, growing three years each year. In another ten years, I will be able to call my father my brother.

I collapsed, holding my head and squatting on the ground: "What exactly do you want me to do?"

Is it true

Alright, I don't need anything for now, you can go ahead and attend to your matters

I am drenched in cold sweat: "What does this mean?" Why does this sound so impressive yet unclear?

Can others hear what you are saying

Oh, speaking of storytelling.

I am just speaking casually, do you think your future life can still be normal?

You are the one who is nonsense

My family has two apartments here. The one I live in on the third floor is the largest unit from back in the day, measuring 120 square meters. There is another unit on the second floor, which is 90 square meters and has already been rented out. The reason my family has achieved such prosperity is that my grandfather's father, who is my great-grandfather, owned a beautiful siheyuan (courtyard house). That courtyard has not been demolished to this day and has been designated by the government as a key cultural heritage site. These two apartments were provided as compensation.

I exclaimed, "Aren't you unable to hear?"

I have come to the human realm this time with a mission, which is to absorb the five emotions of 'joy, anger, sorrow, happiness, and worry' from the human experience. Just as you need to eat, I also require these emotions for nourishment. These five emotions are manifested in you quite evenly, so you have been chosen.

Fortunately, the celestial doll did not delve deeply into the matter, maintaining its three-line expression and stating: "Then what is it that you do?"

I said: "If one person beats another to a pulp, does that mean there is even sorrow involved?"

The celestial doll disdainfully remarked: "To put it bluntly, you are utterly ordinary; must I spell it out for you?"

Rest assured, I will not interfere with your normal life

Emotional balance... means I am neither too warm nor too cold, but rather moderate and peaceful - is it a picture - a book?

I said in disbelief: "So that's why you would choose me, right? What if I just ignore you?"

I did not ask you to harm anyone. If you do not want to think critically, as long as you can find something, that is fine. For example, if I need to be angry and you just happen to come across two people arguing, then we can take advantage of the situation.

What does "balance" mean? Suddenly, a vision of a woman with prominent curves stretching in the morning sun appeared in my mind. In the next moment, she would quickly take out a beverage to entice you to buy it. As a man, I neither desire such curves nor fear being unable to urinate, so I have always refrained from consuming any such products. Who knows how I have achieved balance.

So you read web novels? I said angrily, Isn't it just calling out to the three lower paths? Are you trying to turn me into a woman?

You better not entertain any dubious ideas, as we have signed a contract; you must ensure that I am satisfied with your service

Jixiang Community is located in a quiet area in the city center, with an enviable geographical position. However, the weathered and mottled wall bricks reveal that this is an aging residential complex. Over a decade ago, many affluent families lived here, but nowadays, the wealthy prefer to reside in slightly more remote areas, favoring places adorned with names like "Garden," "Flower Court," and "Apartment." These locations boast better greenery and advanced property management, where everyone drives luxury cars and remains aloof from one another, which is their ideal habitat. As for Jixiang Community, while it does have some greenery, it is relatively limited. The community lacks garages and formal parking spaces, and the security guard still holds a canister bottle, making everything feel out of sync with the current values that prioritize taste and appearance. It resembles a once-respectable but now fallen gentleman, whose attempts at dressing up cannot conceal the awkwardness of being outdated and out of touch.

What? It turns out I have received a fart essence

I have no business! I said dejectedly, "Let's go home first."

In brief, www.hetushu.com has saved me through online literature, allowing me to find a profession that utilizes my relevant professional skills. Moreover, our protagonist this time does not have to be defeated (who wants to read about a tormented protagonist?). It is evident from various summaries—watch how he stands at the pinnacle of existence, laughing proudly at the universe! Observe how he rampages through other realms, overturning the heavens! Witness how he navigates the political arena, gaining favor from all sides! It is evident from various summaries—watch how he stands at the pinnacle of existence, laughing proudly at the universe! Observe how he rampages through other realms, overturning the heavens! Witness how he navigates the political arena, gaining favor from all sides!

I raised my lighter high and said: "I will fight you to the end!"

I want you to be penetrated every day, with the thick coming in and the thin going out, the flat head coming in and the pointed head going out. Most importantly, every time you erase the marks, you must carve them out again. Do you know what despair is? This is despair.

I am not quite sure about the term: "professional copywriter"

Cannot hear

What is that for

The celestial doll smiled brightly and said: "You can choose, you can choose, there are plenty of cloth dolls worth one dollar and fifty cents. I can just possess one at random, and by then, you might be able to sell it for more than I do"

Because you are very balanced

It is not possible through the pants, so if you want to talk to me privately in the future without others hearing, you will need to reach in and grab me.

At a glance, your squinting eyes and retracted neck reveal your sinister intentions. If someone like you can succeed, then being a treacherous minister is far too easy.

I was startled, almost forgetting that it could read people's hearts. I deliberately asked in my mind: "Can you know what I am thinking?"

"How delightful, I will turn you into a pencil sharpener with an eraser!"

I nervously lit a cigarette, my eyes filled with bloodshot veins, and asked, "Is it possible not to harm others?" The remaining three emotions are nothing but anger, sorrow, and grief. As long as one is capable of killing and arson, it truly isn't difficult.

The cheapest pencil sharpener with an eraser costs at least 5 yuan right

Only you and I can have physical contact, just like now when you are holding my hand

I: "... ..." I want to visit www.hetushu.com. This person is quite sharp-tongued. I placed it on my lap, while my mind was spinning with other ideas—although I consider myself somewhat of a ghost story writer, I am a thoroughgoing atheist. It doesn't matter if my worldview is overturned; after all, a worldview has limited utility. However, I need to think of a way to get rid of it!

What does it mean

What about through the pants

Oh, you are quite clever

I put away the lighter and forced a smile, saying: "I'm just joking with you—how about this? In the future, if you have any requests, just tell me directly. Isn't it all about joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness? Do you prefer an idol type or a powerhouse? Do you want to complain without reason or express genuine feelings? I can provide for you in both ways; let's keep it balanced!"

I sighed and said, "Then you should also explain why you came to me"

Heavenly Doll said: "No, since you have a contractual relationship with me, your emotions are immune to me. Besides, don't you get tired of eating the same thing all the time? I need to absorb more fresh emotions."

In summary, the general intention had been established, and the government also agreed. Later that year, a bear at the Beijing Zoo was splashed with sulfuric acid by someone. I heard that my grandfather, after reading that report, broke into a cold sweat, standing in the courtyard and looking around, muttering just four words: "defenseless against defense!" That very day, he changed his mind. The government offered two apartments, essentially following a one-for-one compensation standard. At that time, people did not have a proper understanding of housing; as long as one had a job, they would be allocated a place. My grandfather agreed. However, due to some subtle feelings, he requested that the descendants of the Zhen family should still be allowed to freely enter the old courtyard in the future. The person who received my grandfather was a deputy district head, who furrowed his brow. That day, he changed his mind and wrote a note saying: "I will give you another courtyard; in the future, no matter who from your family wants to enter, they must buy a ticket!"

I exhaled smoke in frustration: "No matter how you listen to it, it doesn't sound like something a good person would do—can you find someone else to talk to? I know quite a few people who love to do things that harm others without benefiting themselves."

The celestial doll smiled mischievously yet subtly conveyed a threat, saying: "You can give it a try. Isn't system literature quite popular now? How do they usually impose punishments?"

There is a story behind my age of twenty-six, seven, or eight this year. I was born in the evening of the twenty-ninth day of the twelfth lunar month, which means I was considered one year old just a few hours after my birth. Thus began the unfortunate first half of my life. Before the age of three, things were fine, but after I turned four, discussions about my actual age started to become distorted. According to the elders, I was effectively two years older than I should be. Therefore, when I was four, while other children had just started kindergarten, I was already able to attend elementary school. Moreover, my grandmother and maternal grandmother, both a bit confused, would alternate between saying I was seven and then eight. This year, I am officially twenty-six. My mother's official statement is that I am twenty-eight, while my grandmother insists on adding another year, making it twenty-nine. According to my maternal grandmother, I am already thirty-three this year.

"How I say it is how you do it. To put it simply, I need you to evoke five different emotions in people. Joy and happiness are one thing, but the remaining three will depend on your methods and imagination..."

You ... ...

I have been deeply affected by my profession, and I always feel that a person should be defeated by something. To avoid any suspicion of being a sadist, this something cannot be a human, so it must be a ghost. Thus, I wrote a book titled "My Wife is Sadako" on Zongdian Chinese Network, using the pen name Long Aotian. I have just surpassed 400,000 words, with 1 million clicks and 150,000 words already charged. I consider myself a newcomer in the industry. Although the title is somewhat awkward, it primarily focuses on humor, attracting a unique group of readers. The royalties are enough to keep me from starving but not enough to overindulge, yet it is still a profession.

It is simply about creating stories and then selling them to those who wish to read them

Uh... not really. I find it difficult to explain to a doll what a writer is. In fact, my major in university was "Chinese Language and Literature and Library Science," which is an even harder subject to explain. We first studied ancient Greek tragedies, then epics, followed by medieval religious literature and the Renaissance. In modern times, we studied Nietzsche, Gorky, Lu Xun, Chi Li, and Jia Pingwa. In essence, the works of renowned authors throughout history can be summarized in one sentence: humanity is destined to be defeated by something invisible and intangible! From Oedipus Rex to Achilles, and in modern times, from Nietzsche to Gorky, Lu Xun, Chi Li, and Jia Pingwa, the works of famous authors can be summed up in one sentence: humanity is destined to be defeated by something invisible and intangible! From Oedipus Rex to Achilles, from Jean-Christophe ("Jean-Christophe") to the Madman A Q and Zhuang Zhi Die ("The Waste City"), these characters either succumb to madness due to fate's mockery or spend twenty years focused on self-destruction. In short, they have all been defeated. When I realized that my major was about studying how humanity is defeated, I felt very depressed and lost. What was even more disconcerting was that I was about to graduate and had no idea what job to look for. Among my female classmates, the pretty ones became mistresses, those who were not unattractive became secretaries, and the male classmates all went to sell insurance. The less attractive female classmates married the male classmates who sold insurance. I was left as someone who has had an artistic heart since childhood, wanting to have a flirtation with literature, but gradually fell from being an artistic youth to an ordinary youth, ultimately becoming a 2B youth.

I am neither a ghost nor a deity... I am a breath of spiritual energy between heaven and earth

I helplessly buried my head in my lap and decided to tear up my voluntary blood donation certificate as soon as I got home

It is said that when the government came to discuss the acquisition, my grandfather was extremely excited upon hearing that the site was a key cultural relic protection object. He told the government representatives that they could protect their interests, but it shouldn't interfere with our continued residence. The government representatives replied that they planned to build a scenic area in that location, and living there would make us subjects of public observation. To my surprise, my grandfather became even more eager; he had never experienced being observed in his life. The only time he did was when he got drunk and tried to climb a utility pole to pick bananas, only to be pulled down by my grandmother with a shoe.

I cautiously asked the celestial doll, "Are you a ghost or a deity?"